18 July 2008

to you

pissed pissed. angry. whatever. fuck it.
do i have the rights to be angry? i think i have.

damn it damn it damn it.
i never wanted us to quarrel over this.
just a fucking bikini shoot. oh my god.

am i dumb or silly to ask you the same old question again?
when i know the answer would be the same.

but i was just hoping a "yes: from you. hoping, yeahs.
serious speaking, i see no wrong wearing bikini with other females in the
big sentosa taking photos can.
not as if if i were to go to the beach i don't wear bikini, don't camwhore.
nvm nvm. & i will ask no more "why(s)" in future.

i'm sorry, boy. i know you're angry.
your "i'm very normal, i not angry" is not convincing at all.
your "ok, byebye" is .....
i wonder what happens if i were to reply "bye".
how will you feel then?

you asked me to think before i take actions.
yes, you are talking sense. fine, i agree.

but why other boyfriends can allow but you don't?

then, you'll ask me to go find others to be my boyfriend.
for that, i'll eat my words up.

you know, i love you.
which says so after all this shit i'll forgo the shoot just becos' of you.
you are in a win-win solution, leaving me with either win it, or lose the shoot.
if i go, you'll be unhappy. if i don't go, i'll be the one unhappy.
then i rather myself skipping the shoot then you to be upset.
fuck it. i'm a loser, to you.
it's alright. what's so good of a bikini shoot anyway?

felt so like texting you after we hung up the lines.
but i forced myself not to.
yeah, egoistic. i am.
but you didn't text me either.
i was trying to convince myself that it's late, & you're tired.
but then again, is sending a sms so difficult?

i was just hoping for a "sorry, i'm not angry." "goodnights. i love you.",
but none.
maybe you guys will think that is redundant, but to girls we like it.

whatever the shit it.
cos' i know i would not get to contact you for the next whole week.

in all, that's becos' you meant something to me.

booo! sad lors. :'(

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